Seek first to understand and then to be understood.
~ Stephen R. Covey

Featured Experts A - F, G - L, M - R, S - Z
A, B, C, D, E, F

Beattie, Melody
Codependent No More:
How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring For Yourself

Everyone can see your downward spiral - but you. For weeks, months, you've been pulling back from family and friends, lying to protect your loved one, putting on a brave face, all the while silently raging at the emotional, psychological and financial toll your partner has had on you;  you've become a caretaker, a control freak, obsessive, whiny, distrusting, manipulative, bitter and implacable. You feel empty and wonder, perhaps, if you're losing your mind. It's hard to do simple things, like get out of bed. Life once held so much hope, but now it's gone. You wonder where the love went, but you're too weak, and hurt, to let go and move on. Your staying only making things worse.

Beattie says your partner may be a substance abuser, gambler, sex addict, or any other kind of troubled or needy person, it doesn't matter. There's no question their behavior is highly destructive - but so is yours. Your habits and reactions to your situation are allowing it to persist while sabotaging the most important person in your life, the only person you can change - you.

Beattie helps readers identify the characteristics of codependency. Her advice
includes, for example, how to care for yourself by redefining boundaries of respect and giving, refusing to participate in the drama your partner creates, seeking counseling and taking action to change your situation, not just talking about it.

She offers thoughtful, much-needed insight and a path to healing, to help restore faith in the power of love - which begins with self-love.

 to read excerpts

DePandi, Giuliana "Think Like A Guy"

If you haven't been able to connect with your perfect man, it may be because you're not thinking right. The way to a man's heart may be through his brain! That's what E! News anchor Giuliana DePandi believes. She offers 66 dating tips for women in her new book, "Think Like a Guy: How to Get a Guy By Thinking Like One."  

to read excerpts

Frank, Robert H.  “Passions Within Reason: The Strategic Role of the Emotions.”, an economist at the Johnson School at Cornell University.

Frank asks: why to people help others, and retaliate against others who harm them, even when they can expect no future personal, material gain from so doing? His answer is that there are emotional rewards to helping those who deserve our aid and hurting others who deserve our ire. Our behavior towards others is regulated by the passions: empathy, spite, shame, remorse, guilt, compassion, and the other social emotions. 

to read excerpts

Authors Article:
Economic Scene When It Comes to a Search for a Spouse, Supply and Demand Is Only the Start

...A friend of his had complained about the inherent perversity of the relationship scene. “Why is it,” she wondered, “that the men I fall in love with are never interested in me, whereas I never feel attracted to the ones who fall for me?”  Because my colleague knew this woman well, he felt free to respond candidly. “It’s simple,” he explained. “You’re an 8 constantly chasing after 10s and constantly being chased by 6s.” His friend later confessed that this one-sentence analysis had proved more useful than several years of expensive psychotherapy.

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